As a single mom with a history of trauma, life wasn’t easy for Rebecca*. Her anxiety made her feel worried about her 5-year-old daughter Isabella’s well-being, and she was at a loss on how to access the help she so badly needed. Rebecca was stuck in an unstable housing situation without a support system in her life or the resources to move. In addition, she struggled to set clear rules with her daughter, who had trouble listening. Isabella’s behavioral issues caused her to disobey her mom and lash out by hitting or kicking when she was asked to follow the rules.  

Rebecca feared that seeking help for her mental health struggles and Isabella’s behavior would result in involvement from Child Protective Services. She loved her daughter more than anything, but she couldn't shake the fear that she wouldn't be able to provide the stability they needed to stay together. The last thing Rebecca wanted was for her anxiety to reflect poorly on her ability as a mom and to be separated from Isabella, whom she desperately wanted to give a better childhood than her own.   

One day, at a check-up for Isabella, the doctor took Rebecca aside and asked if she was interested in a referral to a child-parent mental health provider through a Children’s Home Society of Washington (CHSW) Family Resource Center (FRC), which was conveniently located in the same building. The clinic helps parents by completing the necessary paperwork and scheduling an appointment directly with a CHSW counselor. Rebecca, though initially hesitant, agreed because she trusted Isabella’s doctor, telling him she would never have picked up the phone to make an appointment if she had to do it herself. 

In their first session at CHSW, Isabella clung to her mother's side, shy and reserved. This isn’t uncommon when kids meet with a practitioner for the first time, but what struck the CHSW counselor was how visibly anxious Rebecca seemed to be. She struggled to balance talking to the counselor and tending to Isabella, which made it hard for her to express herself. Our counselor could see that her fear of being judged was holding her back but understood how much the appointment took Rebecca outside her comfort zone. He knew that to help Rebecca and Isabella both, he needed to show them that they were in a safe space where they would only be met with compassion and support. 

During their initial appointments, Rebecca revealed to the counselor that Isabella should have been enrolled in kindergarten but wasn't yet, adding to Rebecca’s long list of worries. Although motivated to help her child, she felt paralyzed with indecision and was overwhelmed by trying to address Isabella’s needs on top of her own. Rebecca knew she wanted to improve her parenting skills but wasn’t sure how, especially when she was up against difficult challenges like finding better living conditions, employment, and childcare to make these changes possible. 

Over the next six months, Rebecca and the CHSW counselor worked together to address concrete needs like enrolling Isabella in kindergarten. Together, they decided that while their living situation felt unstable, it was not an immediate threat to either Rebecca or Isabella and was something she had more time to address. This helped her zero in and focus on what would benefit her daughter most while giving Rebecca a much-needed boost of confidence and a sense of accomplishment. 

During this time, the CHSW counselor also helped Rebecca access critical supports that made it easier for her to connect with employment services and a therapist specifically to address her anxiety. CHSW also helped connect Rebecca to childcare and a Family Resource Specialist at Isabella’s school who became a trusted ally. 

Rebecca and the CHSW counselor also worked on parenting skills, which helped her feel more successful in her abilities. As a result, Isabella’s mental health and behavioral issues improved, and there were fewer instances of defiance and physical aggression toward her mom. With the CHSW counselor's help and access to support, Rebecca significantly addressed what had previously seemed to be permanent roadblocks to her happiness and long-term success as a parent. 

Using the family development pathway service model of support, Rebecca’s local CHSW FRC provided a range of services and resources that tackled Rebecca’s needs in different areas, such as getting appropriate referrals, finding the right programs for her and Isabella, and identifying her parenting goals. This is an instance where the value of the partnership and co-location between the pediatric clinic and Children’s Home Society of Washington can’t be stressed enough. Thanks to the referral from Isabella’s doctor, someone Rebecca deeply trusted, she overcame the barrier of seeking help.  

After months of hard work, there was a final noteworthy breakthrough: Rebecca left her unstable living situation and moved in with a family member who offered the support she needed all along. Not only did she gain more self-assurance during this process, but after months of pushing herself out of her comfort zone, Rebecca could confidently step forward onto the best path for her and Isabella and do so with a smile. 

*All names have been changed to protect anonymity. 

Andrew Tucker is the Chief Behavioral Health Program Officer for CHSW.